Mom Quits!         Raising Self-Reliant Children 

I’m so Fed up doing everything! Picking up the same things over and over again day after day! So I quit!I decided it was time to try and make some Self-Reliant , responsible kids! There growing up, all capable of doing most things for them selfs. I’m just one person and I’m getting burned out! School was about to start & I decided to get them organized. I made them a command center & a responsibility chart and let them know what was expected of them and that there would be consequences or rewards depending on what they decided to do, and it has been life changing (most the time)!

Growing up I was spoiled, I wasn’t bad or nothing. I was just the only child untel 9 years old, & raised by my grandparents and uncle. I was not at all self-reliant or responsible! I was in for a HUGE shock when I got married at 18, and suddenly was a wife & mom! I had NEVER done any kind of housework, hell I didn’t even clean my room , my grandma always did it for me! Laundry? Um no, I didn’t even know how to work the dang machine! ( & don’t think I’m complaining here, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way)

Needless to say, I don’t want that for my kids. I don’t want them to be in shock when they find out what “ADULTING” has in store for them, like i was! I was creating the same pattern for them too. Doing everything for them, and they walked all over me and I was getting stressed the f*#k out over it,So overwhelmed! It was deffinetly time for a change!BUGS

So I had a plan and started to put it into action! The responsibility chart was my first step. I wrote down a list of things my kids were expected to get done  every morning, after school and before bed. Things they should all know but having a list they could Mark off made it easier for them to remember and not forget anything (which they ALWAYS would before) and put in some chores . I made a list of chores that they could choose from, they like that they have controle of what chore they do.

Next was The command center. It has a place for there backpacks folders, all of there homework supplies and a basket for papers they bring home from school, and one for papers that they need to take back. They are suppose to hang there backpacks and empty there folders first thing when they come in. Still working on this one with my youngest girl but my other 2 have it down. After homework they put it into basket to be checked by mom or dad, we put it back in and in the morning they do any correcting and put in folder to return to school. That is one responsibility they have trouble with sometimes (mostly Monday’s) making sure they get everything they need out of basket. If there’s something on top of there paper they just leave it. We’re working on that though. I also added playing outside for 45 min to there after school responsibilities. They need to move more and watch less tv, so I’m hoping this helps. 

Morning routine consists of the usual suspects-

  • Get dressed
  • Make bed
  • Brush teeth and hair
  • Eat breakfast and put dishes into sink 
  • Check your backpack and make sure you have all your things
  • Ready for school on time

It makes a world of difference in the morning. They all Get up and get there stuff done and fix them selfs something easy to eat on the  mornings I don’t feel like cooking! It’s nice to be able to get dressed and not have to hover them all to make sure they are getting ready. I already talked about some of there after school list but I thought I’d add it here too

  • Empty your folder put papers in basket
  • Hang your backpack
  • Have a healthy snack(put healthy in there because my son always goes for the zebra cakes lol) 
  • Do your homework and put back into basket
  • Reading
  • Pick a chore
  • Play outside for 45 min

That also makes a big difference! No kids wondering around and when asked what they should be doing them saying I 8don’t know! Wtf guys you don’t know! Homework duh you just got home from school! Sometimes I wonder about them!

Anyways, the bed time routine is nice And they are all very good about starting it at there own time. Jason starts at 7:30 (his bed time is 8) Kaitlynn starts at 8 (her bed time is 8:30) and Allison starts at 8:30 (i think you Get it, but her bed time is at 9). There bed time routine is as follows>

  • Take a shower
  • Hang your towel 
  • Brush your teeth and hair
  • Make sure you got all your things from around the house 
  • Put all your school stuff together
  • Pick up your room and put away clean clothes 
  • Be in bed at bed time

They get a sticker for each day they make sure all there responsibilities are taken care of. Once they fill up a card they get $5. It’s working pretty well so far. Along with the work for hire board and they have there own money they worked for to buy what they want so maybe they will value it a little more.

so far everything is working like I had hoped. Just to stay consistent. But, there kids so I know it won’t be perfect. Just trying to prepaid them for the world. So they all know they can be responsible and rely on there selfs when I am no longer there to remind them.

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