Its been quite a while since I posted anything. Blogging is really something I enjoy! I know I need to make more time for it. Working on it tho. Its hard to make time lately. Going threw some big life changes and its harder then I could have imagined.
I left my husband, and let me tell you it is the hardest experience I have gone threw in my life so far and its barley starting. Still a long road to go before this is all done and just part of my past. Leaving took me a long time , I was scared. I have Been a stay at home mom for 12 years ,wtf was I going to do??
But Actually, to tell you the truth I feel myself growing. Working Is something I love I’m proud of myself making my own money. No one to tell me I wouldn’t have that if it wasn’t for them. Its a great feeling. Also Now I have my kids with me all the time I feel I’m really striving forward in my journey to ultimately be happy.
At first I left the kids with there dad. Seeing as I had no home or money and was on the verge of a mental breakdown. But, my babies wanted to be with me, So here they are.
After walking on egg shells for so long its nice to breath. Not rush around or worry about my every action so I don’t piss him off. He doesn’t make it easy for me tho. I’m struggling harder then ever in my life. I literally have nothing and going home would be my easiest choice. Seeing how he will give me no help with anything because I won’t go home and I saw threw all his bull shit.
You know what though?
Having no help, or minnamal help is probably going to make this excperiance we worth it once I succeed (which I will because I won’t stop tell I have). Becoming an independent adult, woman wow! Something I never thought I say!
Next step is to get everything settled so I can start my second job. Luckily there are kinda by in this world. Like my new boss , he said to take 30 days and figure shit out then go and start work. I didn’t want to do that….. But its true !
Still so many things to get in order and adjustments for myself and the kids, I just want to make it as stressfree and easy for them. They don’t deserve all this. That’s the only thing that I’m mad at myself about …. Breaking up there family and the only world they’ve ever known……
But, with that said, they are adjusting Nicely I think. I don’t want them to feel like I’m gone , Like they’ll never see me again..
Despite the mess my life is right now, I’m happy, and that’s All I have wanted! Still stressed and I know I still have so long to go for it all to be done. Check back soon, I’ll keep you updated on my new journey of loving Myself finding Myself and adulting as a single mom….